Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
