The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
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