Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
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