Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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