she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
