new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize