Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
