He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
