Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
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