okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
