You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
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