I seem to have left my pride at pride
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize