I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
So our bartender was in the bathroom the same time I was so I ordered a beer mid stream.....is that weird?
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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