At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
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