Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Boobs speak an international language.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
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