Whoa Z and x make the same sound
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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