doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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