so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Thank God I didn't lose my virginity to that asshole. That woulda been like winnin a raffle ticket for a free bag of dog shit. But with like a really pretty bag. A pretty bag full of dog shit.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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