you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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