I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
