you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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