She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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