i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
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All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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