Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
