she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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