I think i peed on brittanys purse
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
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