I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
