you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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