do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
I climb out of my sunroof. I mean its kind of embarrassing but part of me feels awesome and ninja like.
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???