the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
How was I supposed to know she would get offended when I asked her how long it took to draw on her eyebrows.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."