fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
Be still, my beating vagina.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
Randomize
