I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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