Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
Randomize
