We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
