im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
