My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
