Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
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