she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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