Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Randomize
