Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
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