Duck Duck Cougar?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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