I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Got free coffee because I told the guy at starbucks the pleats in his khaki pants made his cock look big.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I took 36 pictures of my lava lamp. your weed wins.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
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