i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
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