You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
