i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
