Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize
