Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
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