i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
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