Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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