Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
There's always time for handjobs
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
