But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize