Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
These tits shall not be calmed
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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