i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
