just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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