Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
Randomize
