Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
Randomize
