Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
i think i just lost a toe
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
