i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
Randomize
