is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
My dick has a subreddit
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
